News Herald – Juliann Talkington
We hire lawyers to sue when we fall, blame the school when our children perform poorly on tests, ostracize McDonalds for childhood obesity and pass-off poor behavior to medical maladies.
Not our fault?
Perhaps we shouldn’t wear high heels, our children should study more for exams, and we shouldn’t eat at McDonald’s so frequently. And maybe the medical disorders would go away if our youngsters spent more time running outdoors than sitting in front of a computer game screen.
It should be no surprise that a recent graduate of Monroe College in New York City is suing to get her tuition reimbursed, because she cannot find a job. As I read the article, a bit in awe, I wondered…. Did she work hard in high school, so she could get into the best college for the field she wanted to enter? Did she network while she was at college, so she would have contacts in her field upon graduation? Did she get an internship or a job in her field while she was in the school, so she had some advantage upon graduation?
Is it the school’s fault?
The problem with personal responsibility began in the late forties and early fifties. After living through the horrors of the Second World War, parents wanted a perfect world for their kids – no pain, no hardship, always fun. We gradually became a country of complainers. Now if our world isn’t perfect, it has to be someone else’s fault.
Interestingly, those who succeed are generally the ones who accept responsibility, learn from their mistakes and make changes to avoid making the same mistakes again.
So how do we help our children move beyond the “everything is someone else’s fault” cultural norm?
First, lead by example. Children learn by watching and listening. For example, if traffic keeps you from making it into the turn lane, don’t blame the other drivers. Ultimately it is your fault for not better anticipating traffic conditions.
Then make sure your child takes responsibility. If you think about your everyday activities, you will find many options. For example, when your child is assigned homework make sure he/she does it well. If it is not adequate, have him/her redo it until it is correct.
Most importantly be aware. Extra efforts to help your child accept personal responsibility will help you build a happy, well-adjusted, successful child.